JazLyte's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Kerslash Episode 2]

I like your designs, everything looks really cool, but something really falls flat as far as watchability. The humor and beats seem very borrowed from anime, it doesn't feel natural at all. The cartoon has this vibe about it that you were just trying to create "anime" as a broad concept and weren't thinking much farther than that. The writing needs more of the personality that the character designs have; just food for thought. The episodes could also stand to have a complete thought, it's one big story but nothing's really happened yet; some amount of closure in each episode would be nice, I just get the feeling that the next 4 years are going to be spent with old girl fighting her possessed friends in the street. Just felt like a trailer for more episodes.

[Potty Meowth]

Visuals are well-handled, but the humor's really slippery and unnatural...

[resident evil epic parody]

Holy hell, that was beautiful. Funny, solid animation and fantastic art direction, notes taken, good work.

hinca responds:

thank you

[Hey That's Offensive!]

Ehhhh, I'm part of at least 3 minority groups and somehow this cartoon is still pretty much my entire existence. Too real, 0/10.

(4/5)

[A crappy video]

The cartoon is fine, nice style and has potential, and I will be following you because the content itself is decent enough. Your shots need more dimension, your perspective needs work and it wasn't particularly entertaining, but that will come with time.

I digress, CUT IT OUT WITH THE OBNOXIOUS PITY WHORING. You have no idea how badly I want to pretend that this cartoon is actually as bad as you say it is, just because you've slathered it with apologies and bullshit. You are not going to somehow change the quality of the cartoon by trying to package it as being shitty, or trying to protect yourself from criticism by pre-labeling it as a "A crappy video", or whatever you call yourself doing with those "Ohh, I just didn't give a shit, please, nobody criticize me for I have already punished myself severely, woe is me I'm so ashamed" Author Comments. It's just pathetic and makes you look ridiculously narcissistic, as if you think you're above being new to animation.

Your work needs work, just like everybody else, get used to it. Nobody is here to give you pity praise, we just want cartoons.

RannitX responds:

First of all thank you for leaving a review I and giving great input. As for me pity whoring its was not my intention but none the less I ended up doing it. I would like to change the title but I can't find the option to do it. Anyways I don't think you want to hear excuses. Next video will not have this bullshit, although I haven't proved it yet I hate pity and i'm glade that the people on Newgrounds are fare and nice. So bottom line is my next video will not have any of this bullshit (might be a while till i finish my next one). Thank you for giving real input on this topic and the topic of my art. I do need to do more interning shots I would add more to the scene. Again thank you for your input have a nice day.

[Nami: Episode 1]

Well, it's a cartoon with a larger story, but why am I watching it? You're clearly a skilled artist capable of creating something really interesting, but this short is severely lacking in personality. We know literally nothing about these characters' personalities, motivations, their world or anything. If we have to wait until later episodes for things to get good, you've fucked up.

Come on, don't tell me the inside of your brain is filled with the same bland, rehashed Japan-fetishism that leads to people doing shit for their masters and and casually throwing around around Japanese names. Where are YOU in this story? Don't just set out to "make anime," surprise us! You make solid work, do something interesting and honest about Darrel Wilson with all these boring ronins out to honor their fathers and shit. These characters are as blank as it gets, you still have plenty of room.

(And no, the main character being black doesn't help. Trust me -.-)

CrabbWalker responds:

This animation does lack personality. Perhaps you have a point about the importance of establishing characters and motivations first hand, that I severely undermined by deciding to stretch it out over the span of several episodes. My puzzle-piece approach might work, or might not work. If it doesn't, it won't be the end of the world, I'll always have time to create fresher content (long as I don't die in a freak accident lol). This animation was a testing of the waters so to speak for the web series...I guess my problem is that I test out the waters too much.

However, you might be confusing what seems to be a fetishism for the actual passion and appreciation I have for the Japanese culture. I took up 6 years of Japanese before I even started improving on my art form. I guess that makes me a Japanophile? Who knows, but this is not to say that I don't appreciate my own culture, either.

And I don't know what you're trying to get across in your last sentence. She's black because I want her to be black– her race doesn't determine how good the story or art is going to be. That last comment was unneeded :/

No beef though, JazLyte. I like your work and you've certainly laid down some pointers for me in the beginning paragraphs to reflect on. Thanks for the review!

Edit: I'm glad there's heavy-hitter critics on Newgrounds that will lay it all down on the floor. I've been focusing on this post, even during at work, for why it stuck with me so hard, but for me, I guess it boils down to being original. Being original is my biggest challenge...but mark my words I will surprise you! (Eh, somehow)

[JOY (Part 1)]

It's a good cartoon, nice curb appeal and everything, but the story dragged pretty long for a payoff that didn't really pop. And I like Max Gilardi as much as the next guy, but this cartoon came off like your greatest aspiration with it was to just mimic everything about his directing/art style... which brought anything this short could have done to a screeching halt at "just average." If that's your intention, then by all means go at it, but you might get more out of trying to improve on his approach or inject some of your own personality into it. Without a voice of its own, it just seems like a softcore, apologetic HotDiggetyDemon knockoff.

[Genryu's Blade (2000)]

I typically cringe a little bit when I see pseudo-Japanese stories and characters made by people with names like Nelson Hurst, but damn that was cool. Your fight choreography is truly something special, and the sense of atmosphere is great. Nice intensity, very fun to watch. Welcome back to a Newgrounds where nothing takes itself this seriously anymore, I miss stuff like this. I remember seeing the original when I was 10 (24 now) and still love it, keep up the good work. Would love to collaborate sometime.

[Old Earth: The Scavengers]

Well executed toonage, the comedic timing worked, the ideas are there, overall I liked it. I do feel though that for a comedy thing, it's very high concept. I was pretty confused until I read your author comments, because none of that stuff was on screen in a way that the audience can decipher. A good rule to live by is if it's not on screen now (where the audience could gather the backstory themselves), it's not relevant. Also, it could use more establishing shots and full-body drawings to give us a sense for where the characters are and what they actually look like. 99% of the compositions are above the waist and close-ups of the face. Keep up the good woik.

Fantishow responds:

Yeah, I considered having a narration explain all of it, but it ended up eating up nearly half the duration of the film. I definitely feel like I should have planned the compositions a ton more. Maybe next time around. Thanks for the most constructive feedback I've had thus far!

[ZD3.(show off)]

WELL NOW, look who's back B) Hilarious as ever, really turned it up with the fights too. Good shit, man. Haven't seen anything from you since I was a teenager, this put a big nasty grin on my face.